After days of blood, sweat and tears, I completed & submitted my philosophical response to the question of whether Thomas Nagel would find Greta Christina's mutual masturbatory experience perverted or not. I have argued, reasonably well I hope, that he would not. You be the judge: following is my paper...
In this paper I will briefly recount Greta Christina’s masturbatory experience and interpret what Thomas Nagel would say about mutual masturbation with regard to sexual perversion. I will further argue, based on class notes and the readings, that Nagel would not call Christina’s account an instance of sexual perversion but a mere deviance of what is considered the norm. Finally, I will offer my own philosophical response by suggesting that Christina’s masturbatory experience would not be considered an instance of sexual perversion, and further, that had the circumstances of the experience been slightly different and Mr. Peep-Show were the only party participating in a masturbatory & exhibitionist practice, that Nagel would see this as a deviation of the norm but not necessarily full-fledged perversion.
Greta Christina begins her story by addressing her lifelong obsession with counting the number of people she has had sex (penis to vagina intercourse) with. Interestingly, as she explores her sexuality, she suddenly finds that the line between sex and not sex becomes blurred when she begins taking women as lovers. In fact, she spends a considerable amount of time thinking, pondering, and searching for a true definition of sex. According to her, “having sex could be seen as the consenting, mutual and physical manifestation of sexual pleasure between two (or more) people.” (27) At the end of her article she describes an incident of mutual masturbation between herself and a paying customer at a peep-show booth. Both parties were aware of the other’s masturbation, and both parties enjoyed the experience. In the end Christina wasn’t sure whether her act of mutual masturbation, separated only by a sheet of glass, was sex. She never mentions whether or not she would consider the act of masturbation (mutual or not) perversion, although I would suspect that she, like Nagel, would argue that it is not.
According to Nagel, in order to be able to define something as perverse, we have to look at the psychological implications and attachments of sexual desire, noting that not all desires are created equal. In order for sexual desire to turn into a sexual act there must be an object to which the desire is placed and further, that that object be psychologically in tune with the desire of the other person. Both parties need to be psychologically invested before desire can turn into an act of sex. In other words, there must be a psychologically mutual attraction for sexual desire to proceed beyond the desire into a sexual act, that the desire must be perceived by both parties in themselves and in the other person at the same time; that “sexual awareness of another involves considerable self-awareness to begin with.” (36) I would argue, based on Christina’s essay that the peep-show guy was the sexually attracted participant at the beginning of his masturbation experience, Christina herself became sexually aware of her own desire and then began masturbating herself which further increased the peep-show guy’s desire as well as her own until both parties reached climax and the event ended.
Nagel would argue that when each party becomes aware of their own sexual desire and further, becomes aware of the other’s desire there is a psychological and physiological connection that is generally understood by both parties. I think in the case of Christina, she understood and became aware of the sexual desire of the guy in the peep-show booth before he became aware of her sexual desire. The sexual desire then might lead them to a sexual act (mutual masturbation in this case), but because each person comes from a different place psychologically each participant may experience the sexual act in different ways, although for it to be mutually beneficial each party must be aware of their own self as well as their partner.
As far as Christina’s experience is concerned, each party did in fact experience the sexual act in different ways (one was paid, the other was the payee) but clearly each of them were mutually aware of their own, as well as the other’s experience. Christina’s experience with the peep-show guy is a clear example of this. Both parties sexual desire lead to involuntary bodily sexual responses which then lead to interactions with each other. Each member of the experience were also experiencing their own involuntary bodily sexual response which lead to the act of or a derivative of (masturbation, touching, fondling, kissing, etc.) the act of sex.
I think it’s important to consider what Nagel tells us in that "perversion isn't in the act performed (mutual masturbation) but in the psychology of the person(s) who performs it: because the perversion lies in the preference of such acts over "natural acts." (DS) I think it’s important to mention that Nagel states "A natural sexual encounter for humans results in the increasing mutual embodiment of both persons through reciprocal awareness of their emotional responses." (31) In other words, one must be aroused by a person wanting you just as much as you want them. Both parties must be on the same page so that each individual isn’t simply working on their own arousal alone. According to Nagel, solitary masturbatory experiences, voyeurism and exhibitionism would be considered deviations of the norm but not necessarily perversions.
However, had the circumstances of Christina’s experience with the peep-show guy not been a mutually beneficial experience and only one of the parties (notably the guy) had been aroused by his desire, then Nagel would likely have considered the experience of Mr. Peep-Show a form of perversion. Had Mr. Peep-Show been the only party displaying narcissistic practices through his own exhibitionism, Nagel would argue that Mr. Peep-Show might be “stuck at some primitive version of the first stage of sexual feeling.” (40) Because Christina’s masturbation experience actually was mutual I would suggest that both parties were aroused and further, that both parties were aroused by the other’s arousal, which according to Nagel would be a mutually beneficial sexual experience and although possibly a deviation from the “norm” he would not consider it a perversion at all.
References:
Soble, Alan and Power Nicholas. The Philosophy of Sex, Contemporary Readings. Fifth Edition. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc. Maryland. 2008. Print.
Shapiro, Devora. Class Notes. St. Paul. 2011. Print.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
How consensual, non-coercive, non-criminal heterosexual transactions are harmful to women.
An old reflection I did that begs the question about How consensual, non-coercive, non-criminal heterosexual transactions are harmful to women. I'm not an expert, and I think my reflection is scattered at best, but I thought it would be interesting to share.
How consensual, non-coercive, non-criminal heterosexual transactions are harmful to women.
Injurious (Damaging to Self-Hood)
1. Injury to Capacity to be Self-Assertive
Why: Because the ability to act on our own pleasure is important-if not crucial-to finding our own place/path within life and the world we live in. Giving in to – Consenting to sex that does not deliver pleasure takes away from our ability to be self-assertive. This is a threat because while a woman’s assertion is taken away, the man still gets to assert himself in acquiring his own pleasure: this of course leads to the double standard. What’s worse is that from a historical perspective this is actually considered the norm: where the men take and the women give. This can be evidenced by looking at the historical context of sexuality between men and women.
During the mid to late 19th century white middle-class women had more opportunities to choose between a greater selection of available male counterparts, which began to create unions and marriages that were based on love and romance rather than simple practicality. The driving force behind romance, helped create new ideas about intimacy where love was the main factor when considering marriage. However, a persistent double-standard existed that assumed it was perfectly natural for a man to seek sexual gratification outside of marriage. In addition to the belief that men had natural sexual urges, conflict would occur in marriages because of their desire to have sex and women’s desire to limit family size for health reasons.
Puritans were concerned about the health of women, but their real point was that they believed women were using the medicine with criminal intent and, therefore all advertisements needed to be eradicated from print entirely for the sake of public morality and women's health. Free-lovers, knew their views were unpopular, but were so convinced in the fundamental right of a woman to be independent in her own right, were unafraid to be shocking & speak about what they believed in. They argued that by allowing women to choose lovers for themselves, society would actually benefit because if women were allowed to do as they wished, there would never be any reason for men to rape; they would have an abundance of willing participants at their disposal. They believed in women's freedom in life, love and sexuality. At the time, women were the property of their husbands. They didn't have their own autonomy and if a husband needed sexual gratification, he had every right to simply take it. This leads to the 2nd Injury to Self-Hood
2. Injury to Sense of Self-Possession
Compared to men, women in American society had little choice about their potential to be independent: women & girls were subject to the male dominated society in which they lived. Women were lower on the social ladder and because of their inferior social status (among men) they had to make choices about whether to marry, make a meager salary at a low-end job, or become prostitutes to obtain a more financially stable life than she could obtain on her own. Many young women, particularly in urban settings needed to leave home to make a living, but because their wages were often so low, they also looked to men to help supply their “fun.”
In addition, women’s rights advocates and social purity reformers wanted to bring sexuality into schools to teach girls about safe-sex practices so they wouldn’t have to rely on incorrect hearsay. They believed that romantic sexual union would help increase pleasure in marriage, but they also wanted their daughters to be educated as well. Changing ideas about sexuality influenced how American culture related to sex. As young men and women spent more time outside of the home, whether in school or at work, opportunities to fraternize were prevalent. Many young women wanted to be accepted by their peers and boys and would succumb to sexual advances in the form of petting, necking, kissing and touching to be accepted, despite fears of their own morality.
3. Injury to Sense of Autonomy
Because women historically have been dependent on men, they have found themselves in the position of consenting to sex even if they didn’t desire it. Knowing that by not providing the sex could bring about damages to their economic status or even social status, women simply perform sexual acts to “keep up with the Jones’s” i.e. they perform sexual acts so they can keep their status and not have to live in what society considers a shameful existence: that of the single mother or of being considered a harlot.
4. Injury to Integrity
When women engage in sex that is neither pleasurable nor desired, they do give up a sense of their own integrity especially when they claim that they enjoyed the experience at all. This, I think, is a common trait of most women. I know countless friends who engage in sex to please their partners but who don’t necessarily enjoy the experience. They tell their male partners that they are wonderful lovers and absolutely pleasing, but this is only to avoid injuring the pride of their partners. I think this too has a historical link.
Tension between permissiveness and repression set the stage for social protest in the 1960s as the changing roles of women, and resurgence in sexual expression also began to take shape. Sexual liberalism before and within marriage helped to create new ideas about gender roles, sexuality and birth control but as the 1960’s approached, a burgeoning Women's Movement and later, Feminist Movement helped create new social ideas about inherent female freedoms. Women wanted equality to, and independence from, men; economically, educationally and sexually.
Overall, I would say that West is onto something here. I don’t think women or men really realize that having undesired or unpleasurable sex can in fact be damaging to a person (woman’s) sense of self-personhood. Countless women I know certainly have sex they don’t want just to avoid the hassle of what would happen if they didn’t have the sex. Each one of these points I personally have experienced and never gave it a second thought. Now, having read this article, I am re-thinking how I can approach sexual situations that I am either not interested in or have no desire for. This is going to be a battle I’m not sure a relationship can survive. Looks like a gigantic can of worms has been opened: it’s like the Pandora’s Box of sex.
How consensual, non-coercive, non-criminal heterosexual transactions are harmful to women.
Injurious (Damaging to Self-Hood)
1. Injury to Capacity to be Self-Assertive
Why: Because the ability to act on our own pleasure is important-if not crucial-to finding our own place/path within life and the world we live in. Giving in to – Consenting to sex that does not deliver pleasure takes away from our ability to be self-assertive. This is a threat because while a woman’s assertion is taken away, the man still gets to assert himself in acquiring his own pleasure: this of course leads to the double standard. What’s worse is that from a historical perspective this is actually considered the norm: where the men take and the women give. This can be evidenced by looking at the historical context of sexuality between men and women.
During the mid to late 19th century white middle-class women had more opportunities to choose between a greater selection of available male counterparts, which began to create unions and marriages that were based on love and romance rather than simple practicality. The driving force behind romance, helped create new ideas about intimacy where love was the main factor when considering marriage. However, a persistent double-standard existed that assumed it was perfectly natural for a man to seek sexual gratification outside of marriage. In addition to the belief that men had natural sexual urges, conflict would occur in marriages because of their desire to have sex and women’s desire to limit family size for health reasons.
Puritans were concerned about the health of women, but their real point was that they believed women were using the medicine with criminal intent and, therefore all advertisements needed to be eradicated from print entirely for the sake of public morality and women's health. Free-lovers, knew their views were unpopular, but were so convinced in the fundamental right of a woman to be independent in her own right, were unafraid to be shocking & speak about what they believed in. They argued that by allowing women to choose lovers for themselves, society would actually benefit because if women were allowed to do as they wished, there would never be any reason for men to rape; they would have an abundance of willing participants at their disposal. They believed in women's freedom in life, love and sexuality. At the time, women were the property of their husbands. They didn't have their own autonomy and if a husband needed sexual gratification, he had every right to simply take it. This leads to the 2nd Injury to Self-Hood
2. Injury to Sense of Self-Possession
Compared to men, women in American society had little choice about their potential to be independent: women & girls were subject to the male dominated society in which they lived. Women were lower on the social ladder and because of their inferior social status (among men) they had to make choices about whether to marry, make a meager salary at a low-end job, or become prostitutes to obtain a more financially stable life than she could obtain on her own. Many young women, particularly in urban settings needed to leave home to make a living, but because their wages were often so low, they also looked to men to help supply their “fun.”
In addition, women’s rights advocates and social purity reformers wanted to bring sexuality into schools to teach girls about safe-sex practices so they wouldn’t have to rely on incorrect hearsay. They believed that romantic sexual union would help increase pleasure in marriage, but they also wanted their daughters to be educated as well. Changing ideas about sexuality influenced how American culture related to sex. As young men and women spent more time outside of the home, whether in school or at work, opportunities to fraternize were prevalent. Many young women wanted to be accepted by their peers and boys and would succumb to sexual advances in the form of petting, necking, kissing and touching to be accepted, despite fears of their own morality.
3. Injury to Sense of Autonomy
Because women historically have been dependent on men, they have found themselves in the position of consenting to sex even if they didn’t desire it. Knowing that by not providing the sex could bring about damages to their economic status or even social status, women simply perform sexual acts to “keep up with the Jones’s” i.e. they perform sexual acts so they can keep their status and not have to live in what society considers a shameful existence: that of the single mother or of being considered a harlot.
4. Injury to Integrity
When women engage in sex that is neither pleasurable nor desired, they do give up a sense of their own integrity especially when they claim that they enjoyed the experience at all. This, I think, is a common trait of most women. I know countless friends who engage in sex to please their partners but who don’t necessarily enjoy the experience. They tell their male partners that they are wonderful lovers and absolutely pleasing, but this is only to avoid injuring the pride of their partners. I think this too has a historical link.
Tension between permissiveness and repression set the stage for social protest in the 1960s as the changing roles of women, and resurgence in sexual expression also began to take shape. Sexual liberalism before and within marriage helped to create new ideas about gender roles, sexuality and birth control but as the 1960’s approached, a burgeoning Women's Movement and later, Feminist Movement helped create new social ideas about inherent female freedoms. Women wanted equality to, and independence from, men; economically, educationally and sexually.
Overall, I would say that West is onto something here. I don’t think women or men really realize that having undesired or unpleasurable sex can in fact be damaging to a person (woman’s) sense of self-personhood. Countless women I know certainly have sex they don’t want just to avoid the hassle of what would happen if they didn’t have the sex. Each one of these points I personally have experienced and never gave it a second thought. Now, having read this article, I am re-thinking how I can approach sexual situations that I am either not interested in or have no desire for. This is going to be a battle I’m not sure a relationship can survive. Looks like a gigantic can of worms has been opened: it’s like the Pandora’s Box of sex.
The Biology of Belief: Article Review by Kah Shepard
This is an old article I wrote while taking Biology of Women last semester. As I finish up my Capstone class, I am reviewing some of the old stuff I have written that I think is interesting or thought provoking. Enjoy.
Growing scientific evidence suggests faith may bring us health. Humans pray – for peace or they meditate for calm, but what most people pray for is health: themselves or others. Dr. Gail Ironson, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Miami says, “Spirituality predicts for better disease control.”
Skeptics however, like Professor Richard Slone and author of Blind Faith says, “Science doesn’t deal in supernatural explanations. Religion and science address different concerns.” He goes on to say that attempting to find a link between the prayer and healing is a “fool’s errand” because, “It is impossible to know how much prayer is received and since you don’t know that, you can’t determine dose.”
That’s true – somewhat. “A large body of science shows a positive impact of religion on health” says Dr. Andrew Newburg, professor of radiology, psychology and religious studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Newburg is author of 4 books and has spent considerable time looking at how our spiritual data works in the brain; by scanning brains in different meditative/prayer states. According to Newburg, “When people engage in prayer, it’s the frontal lobes that take the lead because they govern focus and concentration. During very deep prayer however, the parietal lobe powers down, which is what allows us to experience a sense of having loosed our earthy moorings.” The parietal lobe is on the top of the head and acts as the brains “spiritual center.” It is responsible for processing sensory input. Interestingly, prayer and meditation over a long period of time can actually change the brain permanently; by showing an increased thickness in their frontal lobes, which when working well help boost memory.
Other ways faith and health overlap include fasting, aspects of which can be found in all major religions and when done properly can lead to a state of clarity or even euphoria. Because the brain requires mass quantities of energy to work properly, it requires calories to maintain homeostasis. When you take away food, the liver produces glucose throughout the body, but makes sure the brain gets the biggest doses. However, because the liver’s reserves only last about 24 hours, cells begin to break down fats and proteins, which changes the composition of the blood. Dr. Catherine Gordon, endocrinologist at Children’s Hospital in Boston says, “There are very real changes that occur in the body very rapidly that might explain the clarity during fasting. The brain is in a different state even during a short-term fast. Biologically, that’s not good, but the light-headed sense of peace, albeit brief, that comes with it reinforces the fast and rewards you for engaging in it all the same.”
Prayer, on the other hand, is the one element of religious devotion that is consistent across all levels of faith. There is a belief that prayer can cure ailments and disease, and although some studies show that “patients who were prayed for fared better than those who were not,” in scientific studies the placebo effect needs to be considered. According to the article, “when you’re setting up your study, it matters a great deal whether subjects know they’re being prayed for.” The best way to test whether belief in God or a Higher Power an effective predictor of health is to study the health of people who regularly go to church. Some results point to longer life-spans and better overall health, however, other factors need to be considered. According to Ted Kaptchuk, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, “Religious belief is not just a mind question but involves the commitment of one’s body as well. The sensory organs, tastes, smells, sounds, music and architecture of religious buildings are involved.” In addition to the sensory input received while in church, there is also a sense of community and social support, as well as philanthropy and increased gratitude among parishioners, which could also be considered predictors of health.
In terms of the medical community there is a growing trend, supported by scientists and theologians, to offer whole body care, which includes prayer or conversations about belief. Psychologist Jean Kristeller, of Indiana State University, developed a five-to-seven minute conversation for doctors to engage their patients to talk about religion or belief. According to the article, there seems to be some correlation between “patient-centered conversations and reduced depression, increased quality of life, and a greater sense that their doctors cared about them.” In fact, many hospitals now have chaplains on site to visit patients who are recovering from illness or who are coping with end-of-life decisions. Even patients who say they are not particularly religious can benefit.
Clearly people are not going to stop visiting the doctor when they are sick, or start eating all the junk food they can because “prayer” will save them, but when faced with illness or disease, they do put their faith not only in medicine, but in belief as well.
The Article:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879016,00.html
Growing scientific evidence suggests faith may bring us health. Humans pray – for peace or they meditate for calm, but what most people pray for is health: themselves or others. Dr. Gail Ironson, professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Miami says, “Spirituality predicts for better disease control.”
Skeptics however, like Professor Richard Slone and author of Blind Faith says, “Science doesn’t deal in supernatural explanations. Religion and science address different concerns.” He goes on to say that attempting to find a link between the prayer and healing is a “fool’s errand” because, “It is impossible to know how much prayer is received and since you don’t know that, you can’t determine dose.”
That’s true – somewhat. “A large body of science shows a positive impact of religion on health” says Dr. Andrew Newburg, professor of radiology, psychology and religious studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Newburg is author of 4 books and has spent considerable time looking at how our spiritual data works in the brain; by scanning brains in different meditative/prayer states. According to Newburg, “When people engage in prayer, it’s the frontal lobes that take the lead because they govern focus and concentration. During very deep prayer however, the parietal lobe powers down, which is what allows us to experience a sense of having loosed our earthy moorings.” The parietal lobe is on the top of the head and acts as the brains “spiritual center.” It is responsible for processing sensory input. Interestingly, prayer and meditation over a long period of time can actually change the brain permanently; by showing an increased thickness in their frontal lobes, which when working well help boost memory.
Other ways faith and health overlap include fasting, aspects of which can be found in all major religions and when done properly can lead to a state of clarity or even euphoria. Because the brain requires mass quantities of energy to work properly, it requires calories to maintain homeostasis. When you take away food, the liver produces glucose throughout the body, but makes sure the brain gets the biggest doses. However, because the liver’s reserves only last about 24 hours, cells begin to break down fats and proteins, which changes the composition of the blood. Dr. Catherine Gordon, endocrinologist at Children’s Hospital in Boston says, “There are very real changes that occur in the body very rapidly that might explain the clarity during fasting. The brain is in a different state even during a short-term fast. Biologically, that’s not good, but the light-headed sense of peace, albeit brief, that comes with it reinforces the fast and rewards you for engaging in it all the same.”
Prayer, on the other hand, is the one element of religious devotion that is consistent across all levels of faith. There is a belief that prayer can cure ailments and disease, and although some studies show that “patients who were prayed for fared better than those who were not,” in scientific studies the placebo effect needs to be considered. According to the article, “when you’re setting up your study, it matters a great deal whether subjects know they’re being prayed for.” The best way to test whether belief in God or a Higher Power an effective predictor of health is to study the health of people who regularly go to church. Some results point to longer life-spans and better overall health, however, other factors need to be considered. According to Ted Kaptchuk, a professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, “Religious belief is not just a mind question but involves the commitment of one’s body as well. The sensory organs, tastes, smells, sounds, music and architecture of religious buildings are involved.” In addition to the sensory input received while in church, there is also a sense of community and social support, as well as philanthropy and increased gratitude among parishioners, which could also be considered predictors of health.
In terms of the medical community there is a growing trend, supported by scientists and theologians, to offer whole body care, which includes prayer or conversations about belief. Psychologist Jean Kristeller, of Indiana State University, developed a five-to-seven minute conversation for doctors to engage their patients to talk about religion or belief. According to the article, there seems to be some correlation between “patient-centered conversations and reduced depression, increased quality of life, and a greater sense that their doctors cared about them.” In fact, many hospitals now have chaplains on site to visit patients who are recovering from illness or who are coping with end-of-life decisions. Even patients who say they are not particularly religious can benefit.
Clearly people are not going to stop visiting the doctor when they are sick, or start eating all the junk food they can because “prayer” will save them, but when faced with illness or disease, they do put their faith not only in medicine, but in belief as well.
The Article:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879016,00.html
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
What's a gal to do?
It’s one week from graduation and, like other seniors, I’m beginning to feel the heavy traces of trepidation that quickly rush to the center of a person’s psyche. In the moments of big events, great change and new adventures every person experiences a wide array of emotions that range from fear to pure bliss, sometimes all at once. That’s where I’m at today.
7:15 am. I woke up feeling great with an old girl scout rally song blaring through my brain. “I’m alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic,” rolling on repeat as I stretched in bed, turned off the alarm. I headed directly into Z’s room to speak softly into his ear as I woke him for school. He reached out, pulled me close into a hug and said, “No mom, let’s go back to sleep.” I repeat the song and he giggles, “Okay fine,” he sighs. 10 minutes later with umbrella’s on the ready, we slog through the wet, wormy street to the bus stop and I wave through the rain as he rolls off to enjoy (or loathe) another day of 5th grade.
8:15 am. Back inside the house, Mower rushes about trying to get all of his things together. Tuesday’s are always hell day for him and today is no exception. He was up at 6 (or earlier) practicing for a day of dress rehearsals with concert band and jazz ensemble, more tests in music theory or ear training (I can’t remember which), a bass lesson at orchestra hall and a 10pm show at Cause with the band Morosity. 10 minutes before class starts he rushes out of the house with his upright bass, annoyed with the rain. Time to crank the Zen station on DirecTV; I only listen to it when he’s not here because it drives him crazy. I can see how it would, he is a musician after all and let’s face it, most people (men) couldn’t handle as much Zen music as I can. I won’t see him again until midnight tonight.
9:15 am. Scrubbing the toilet because it’s about to be the only functioning item in my bathroom for the next week and the phone rings. It’s Mower, he forgot his sheet music, can’t find his wallet, and would I please bring look for those things and bring them to him at 11? No problem, I say. Back to the bathroom to clean out any and everything; rugs down the laundry chute, tampons, shampoo, moisturizer, razor, deodorant and other personal care items in the shower tote. It dawns on me that I should probably take a shower before I drag everything out of there so I re-hang the shower curtain and step under the steamy hot water. Thankful that I even get to use the shower today I step out feeling refreshed and clean. One foot, one leg, one sleeve at a time I put my socks, pants and shirt on and go in search of a bra and the missing wallet. But first always first, coffee.
10:15 am. Phone rings. It’s Mower, he found his wallet and is coming home to get his sheet music, tells me not to worry about it. I am relieved, one less thing to worry about. Phone rings again. It’s Bill, he won’t be here to work on the bathroom until tomorrow; rain, insurance renewals, bids and other work duties call. No problem, I say, I have a paper to write anyway.
11:15 am. Realizing suddenly that graduation is one week away I burst into tears, overcome with pride, worry, joy, fear, elation and relief. I am a highly sensitive and emotional creature, but I rarely allow myself to let go enough to shed a few tears, so I was surprised at my sudden emotional outburst. Instead of holding back though, like I usually do, I just let the tears well up in my eyes and allowed them to fall freely. I was annoyed with myself for being such a baby but then I remembered to cut myself some slack. I recently had a conversation with a friend who having a rough day, struggling with the changes in her life and I told her that she was just experiencing growing pains. I understand how she felt because I’m experiencing growing pains too. I have to remember to take these emotions for what they are and then let them go. They’re normal you know, the chaotic & emotionally charged feelings I’m experiencing. Change does that to a person.
12:15 pm. Catharsis complete, for now anyway, I realize it’s time to get back on task and finish the last paper I will ever have to write as an undergrad. I go into the process focused, happy and cleansed. There is still quite a lot of work to do; job searching (and finding!), chores at home (the list never ends) and bills to pay, but I don’t feel so overwhelmed by everything anymore. Turns out, a good cry was just what I needed.
I can feel the wind blowing through the window, my fingers cold from the constant breeze. Flurries in the forecast and a growing list of things to do have given me the impression that it’s going to be a long day. Now that I’ve taken a time-out, no task seems too large or impossible. I’m just going to crank the volume on the Zen music, order honey walnut shrimp for delivery, bust out the French press and dive back into the work before me. There’s no need for me to worry because as long as I do the work, the universe will always provide.
One parting thought; embrace your emotions today, whatever they are. Acknowledge them, accept them and then let them go. That’s what I’m going to do. Blessed Be.
7:15 am. I woke up feeling great with an old girl scout rally song blaring through my brain. “I’m alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic,” rolling on repeat as I stretched in bed, turned off the alarm. I headed directly into Z’s room to speak softly into his ear as I woke him for school. He reached out, pulled me close into a hug and said, “No mom, let’s go back to sleep.” I repeat the song and he giggles, “Okay fine,” he sighs. 10 minutes later with umbrella’s on the ready, we slog through the wet, wormy street to the bus stop and I wave through the rain as he rolls off to enjoy (or loathe) another day of 5th grade.
8:15 am. Back inside the house, Mower rushes about trying to get all of his things together. Tuesday’s are always hell day for him and today is no exception. He was up at 6 (or earlier) practicing for a day of dress rehearsals with concert band and jazz ensemble, more tests in music theory or ear training (I can’t remember which), a bass lesson at orchestra hall and a 10pm show at Cause with the band Morosity. 10 minutes before class starts he rushes out of the house with his upright bass, annoyed with the rain. Time to crank the Zen station on DirecTV; I only listen to it when he’s not here because it drives him crazy. I can see how it would, he is a musician after all and let’s face it, most people (men) couldn’t handle as much Zen music as I can. I won’t see him again until midnight tonight.
9:15 am. Scrubbing the toilet because it’s about to be the only functioning item in my bathroom for the next week and the phone rings. It’s Mower, he forgot his sheet music, can’t find his wallet, and would I please bring look for those things and bring them to him at 11? No problem, I say. Back to the bathroom to clean out any and everything; rugs down the laundry chute, tampons, shampoo, moisturizer, razor, deodorant and other personal care items in the shower tote. It dawns on me that I should probably take a shower before I drag everything out of there so I re-hang the shower curtain and step under the steamy hot water. Thankful that I even get to use the shower today I step out feeling refreshed and clean. One foot, one leg, one sleeve at a time I put my socks, pants and shirt on and go in search of a bra and the missing wallet. But first always first, coffee.
10:15 am. Phone rings. It’s Mower, he found his wallet and is coming home to get his sheet music, tells me not to worry about it. I am relieved, one less thing to worry about. Phone rings again. It’s Bill, he won’t be here to work on the bathroom until tomorrow; rain, insurance renewals, bids and other work duties call. No problem, I say, I have a paper to write anyway.
11:15 am. Realizing suddenly that graduation is one week away I burst into tears, overcome with pride, worry, joy, fear, elation and relief. I am a highly sensitive and emotional creature, but I rarely allow myself to let go enough to shed a few tears, so I was surprised at my sudden emotional outburst. Instead of holding back though, like I usually do, I just let the tears well up in my eyes and allowed them to fall freely. I was annoyed with myself for being such a baby but then I remembered to cut myself some slack. I recently had a conversation with a friend who having a rough day, struggling with the changes in her life and I told her that she was just experiencing growing pains. I understand how she felt because I’m experiencing growing pains too. I have to remember to take these emotions for what they are and then let them go. They’re normal you know, the chaotic & emotionally charged feelings I’m experiencing. Change does that to a person.
12:15 pm. Catharsis complete, for now anyway, I realize it’s time to get back on task and finish the last paper I will ever have to write as an undergrad. I go into the process focused, happy and cleansed. There is still quite a lot of work to do; job searching (and finding!), chores at home (the list never ends) and bills to pay, but I don’t feel so overwhelmed by everything anymore. Turns out, a good cry was just what I needed.
I can feel the wind blowing through the window, my fingers cold from the constant breeze. Flurries in the forecast and a growing list of things to do have given me the impression that it’s going to be a long day. Now that I’ve taken a time-out, no task seems too large or impossible. I’m just going to crank the volume on the Zen music, order honey walnut shrimp for delivery, bust out the French press and dive back into the work before me. There’s no need for me to worry because as long as I do the work, the universe will always provide.
One parting thought; embrace your emotions today, whatever they are. Acknowledge them, accept them and then let them go. That’s what I’m going to do. Blessed Be.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Eavesdropping One Liner's
Have you ever just walked around with a notebook writing down one liner's that you overhear? I did as part of an assignment last semester in Screenwriting, a process that is supposed to help stoke the creative writing juices. I completely forgot about it until I found the notebook stashed between the seats in my car. For your reading pleasure, a good laugh and all you writers out there, I present to you 22 one liner's I heard out in public.
When I had that Goddamn operation.
Don't mean to give you the tour, but I thought the other was open.
I got that big one, it's beautiful.
Oh, durn.
I just wanna get a little high.
There you are mother.
He sees color depending on tone.
They're all broken, every one.
The longer you stay in, the more you get drafted.
Who know's whatever the f**k's going on.
It's that much more intriguing.
I gotta make sure the job gets done.
I'm not going to do that, F**k you.
I thought, what kind of a day are YOU having?
Next day, purse is gone.
He hasn't done a f**king thing and it's his job.
It started at the middle of the finger.
Mama, what's that lady doing?
Two glasses wearing librarian singers - Nice!
The medicine keeps me up at night.
I suppose I'll have to start over.
I know Edgar comes first.
Reflection & Planning
Whew! What a joy to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. This beast is quite lengthy but I figured what the hey, might as well continue the trend of sharing...
The criteria I have chosen to use in my reflection include how my learning experiences have allowed me to become a leader, writer, advocate and educated person of five of the six competence areas of First College. I have left out “the natural world and mathematics” only because I have spent considerably more time learning about the humanities and the psychology & sexuality of humans. I have also spent considerable time defining what it means to me to be an educated person and reflecting on the extent to which my education has or has not met those criteria. Following my reflection on my education and given the gaps that I found in that reflection, I have, to the best of my ability, addressed the issue of planning my future education. Finally, I have included a description of the goals I need & want to accomplish in the future. I begin my reflection discussing how I have accomplished five of the six competence areas of First College.
Communication: Having excellent communication skills have been instrumental in my education. It has helped me become an efficient problem solver and leader. By paying close attention to the world around me, I have learned the importance of keeping myself informed of global, local and entertainment events. I have spent considerable time learning about the various ways in which humans communicate with one another through coursework including writing 1 and 2, children’s literature, survey of mass media, theater of television, listening & literature of music, small group communications, visual communications, screenwriting, and voice (speaking from experience). In today’s world, it’s important to understand how prevalent visual & digital communication has become to us and learn how to participate maturely with these mediums.
In my personal and professional life, learning to communicate has benefited me in so many ways. For one, I have learned how to articulate my views and opinions in a mature manner. I am no longer intimidated to voice my thoughts and ideas whether spoken or written. I have come to understand that my voice is important and further, that I actually have something to say, particularly about how a persons’ psychology affects the way they see themselves as sexual, emotional, spiritual, physical and autonomous beings surviving in the world around them. I have also gained great insight into my own psychology and have learned to be able to communicate what I know about myself in an effort to engage and relate with others.
Community: I think, for me anyway, the biggest role I have as an educated person in terms of changing my community lies in my advocacy for and involvement with diversity and the humanities. Over the last several years I have become much more active supporting and advocating for LGBTQ persons, children with special needs and continuing education in the arts. There are so many things I do to give back to my community and frequently find myself involved in activities such as volunteering at my son’s school, donating food, toys or time to churches/charitable foundations such as VEAP (local food-shelf), National Marrow Donor Program, Camp Odayin (camp for kids with heart disease) and Rock The Cause.
I have learned to love working very hard at practicing random acts of kindness, and participating in political discussion through letter writing &/or protest. My expectations of my communities are for them enrich my life, to allow me to actively participate and to support me as a citizen. Communities exist because people cannot tackle all of life’s challenges or marvel at all of life’s wonders alone, we are communal beings and we should expect acceptance, tolerance, equality and respect from our communities. I am truly blessed to be a part of all my networks and communities.
Humanities: In terms of gaining greater cultural knowledge, I believe the humanities and psychology classes I have taken such as general psych, psych of women, psych of death/dying, abnormal psych, psych of adjustment, ethics, intro to diversity & ethics, intro to world religions, and women across cultures, have been critical in helping me understand ideas about ethical, religious and philosophical ideologies outside of my own sphere of knowledge. Humanities are extremely important to me because even though I live and interact within my own community, there is a whole global world out there that I need to be educated about so when I find myself in situations with people who have different ethical, religious & philosophical ideologies that don't match my own, I can move toward understanding and empathy from an educated standpoint, this also allows me to make informed decisions about my own actions and behaviors toward my fellow man. The humanities & psychology classes I have taken have helped me understand the deeper meaning of what it means to live & co-exist in a diverse and ever changing global world.
Vocation: I have created an individualized degree because I believe it’s critical to the success of my purpose in life, which is to help individuals overcome negative belief systems about themselves and the world around them. My studies have led me to work alongside diverse and often overlooked minority groups, particularly those previously mentioned. Creating an individual degree has further allowed me to learn and explore specific criteria I believe is necessary to my success. My academic areas of focus have relied heavily on gender studies: current and historical perspectives, writing, communication and psychology. By focusing on trends and perspectives within psychology, diversity and sexuality; I have set myself up to be able to work within these professions in an effort to help people claim their voices and autonomy.
Moving forward, I can visualize myself teaching, writing and practicing therapy. The experience of being a student has enabled me to have the writing, research and community action skills necessary to be successful in my field. It has been extraordinarily important for me to take psychology classes to understand how the psyche of humans works. It has also been important to take classes in culture and diversity, to help me see the world from a cultural perspective: how cultures relate to and shy away from each other. Gaining insight on World Religions is important as well because it has allowed me to understand what people of different faiths believe in.
It has also been critical for me to understand the differences of gender, and how being born one sex or the other can & does have an effect on how we all perceive the world around us. I have focused my studies primarily on the female aspect, simply because I myself am female, and because historically, females have been seen as “less-than” their male counterparts, despite recent advances in Women’s Liberation.
All of these classes have helped me as a writer and student better understand human emotion and faith, which are key aspects to character creation and authenticity as an autonomous person. Because writing is something that comes very natural to me, I have taken classes that foster the spirit of creatively “putting the pen to page.” In other words, I have focused my academic work on classes that rely on written work through research & my own voice as major components of understanding and passing a class.
Lifelong learning and avocation: My lifelong learning and avocation has afforded me inclusion within communities that encompass several different aspects of my life and are as diverse in nature as they are similar. I would define my community as a vast network of extended obligations and responsibilities to myself, my family and my friends. To me, these communities present opportunities for me to continue to learn and to practice activities/hobbies that make me happy and fulfilled as a person.
The first activity that I am involved in is that I am a parent involved in the scholastic community where my child attends fifth grade. I engage in that community by volunteering to help with class field trips, and being an active participant in fund raisers, food drives and after school activities. I participate within this community because I believe it helps foster good relations between me, my child and the school he attends.
The second community I am a member of is in the Minneapolis music scene as a member of a five-person band. As a group of five, we seek to bring music and entertainment to the intensely rich and diverse community of musicians and fans. It is our duty and obligation to ourselves that we strive for excellence, but remember to have fun with what we are doing. We engage with our extended Minneapolis community through gigs in local bars, venues and festivals, as well as collaboration with other musicians and close ties with members of community and college run radio stations. Music and singing is something I will continue to do throughout my lifetime, it is a passion I have had since I was a very young child. As my own child grows, I continue to encourage him to explore music as a means of creative expression as well. I think the arts are so valuable to all people and I will continue to do whatever I can to participate in and encourage others to participate in creative, artistic endeavors.
A third community I am a member of is among various Pagan and New Age spiritual groups I affiliate with. I believe it’s important to walk through life intentionally and spiritually and by having a support network of people, who share similar beliefs as me, is vastly important in my own spiritual development. In addition, I am able to give back to this particular community through writing, work-shopping and networking with other Pagans. In fact, I have decided to start a spiritual gathering once a month at my home. The idea is to get together with other like minded individuals to discuss spirituality and what it means for us. As I continue my education in the future, I am certain I will be afforded inclusion into professional organizations such as American Psychological Association as well.
An Educated Person
Criteria for being an educated person entail having an understanding of and compassion for the culturally rich and diverse world around us. It is being able to communicate your own personal thoughts and ideas to friends, peers, colleagues, instructors, bosses and any other person you come in contact with. Being educated is about putting to work the instruction received in college. An educated person has an attitude of anything is possible and understand that learning is a lengthy, tedious, but expansively necessary part of life. Educated people are problem solvers and good communicators, ever-curious about the world around them. They pay attention to what is going on in the world around them and look for ways to improve not only their own lives, but the communities in which they reside. They are proactive motivated individuals who thrive on learning. They are skilled in basic technological skills (using a computer, internet & common software products), are conscious consumers, and tote the pride of being educated: often stepping into roles as educators themselves.
Educated people understand the importance of sharing goals and dreams with other individuals who also want to learn, who have similar aspirations for themselves, they know that in order for the “program” to work on its deepest, most fulfilling level, there is a need and commitment to give back, to become a member, to tap into the creative forces of something outside of you, to take things one day at a time and above all, to trust the process. An educated person must have good communication skills, knowledge about the field they are studying, community interest & activity, and a curious mind: someone who never stops learning. They must be selective in the material they wish to learn about and take a critical eye to their own growth in the process. It’s important to follow your own interests because, in so doing, a student will be able to answer for themselves what their own individual purpose is, which will lead to greater success and satisfaction in life. An educated person will continue to be a life-long learner, ever curious about the world around them & always questioning their purpose within it.
My understanding of the varying criteria for judging how I have met the criteria in my education is strong. Over the last 10 years (off and on) in college, I have taken classes that have piqued my interest in the nature of humanity. In the process I have had to look at myself from a psychological standpoint in order to come to terms with my own history. This has been crucial to my ability to both separate and include myself in a classroom setting. By sharing some of my history, I have been able to support others who may have a similar past. It isn’t easy to share intimate and private information in front of a class full of people, but I believe my experiences are valuable in both teaching and supporting my fellow classmates. I think it takes a lot of effort to show and embrace vulnerability in a classroom setting because as people, we all have something to share and sometimes sharing the fearful or anxious or embarrassing moments in our lives, we are able to open dialogue that is full of substance and learning. As a student, I have also learned the importance of asking for help and questioning information or processes that didn’t make sense to me.
One way I have been able to retain the information I have learned in school has been my ability to begin conversations about the topics I have studied. I think being able to talk about what you’re learning with one or several other people including classmates, family and friends help solidify a person’s own thoughts about the subject material, which is crucial to being an educated person. Time management is also absolutely important when learning something. It is so valuable to understand how long something is going to take to learn about it and in fact, for me, has allowed me to set aside the time I need to learn which is why I continue to hold an excellent GPA. I’m not satisfied simply “getting by” academically. Cutting corners and failing to do the necessary work doesn’t afford anyone, including me, any kind of benefit; those behaviors in academia and in life are simply a matter of selling oneself short which is really unfortunate.
For me, the life experience which was the most transforming was giving birth to my son. Having a child with special needs forever changed the way I think about life, what to make of it and how to go about living it. Having a child period, does the same. Once parenthood entered my life, it completely changed the way I saw and related to the world. Being a mom has exponentially increased my appreciation for little things, as I have watched with trepidation and joy while Zane has grown. I have learned to set aside my own selfish ways to provide for him. In 11 years, Zane has succeeded in bringing out the best and sometimes the worst in me, and despite the bumps along the way have come to own my duty, my job, to teach and encourage him to learn as much as he can while still maintaining & supporting his childlike enthusiasm and wonder. Zane has been, and will continue to be, the motivating factor for educating myself and improving my life. The way I see it, having Zane was the best thing that ever happened to me and despite of, maybe even perhaps because of, his medical condition, I have truly stepped into the role of strong, capable, intelligent woman and mother.
The most important lesson I have received from life is learning how to recognize and balance my emotional reactions to things I either can or cannot control. As a parent of a child who lives every day with a life-threatening illness, I have had to reconcile my fears against my hopes. It is also within me to control how I feel about this, where I allow my emotions to go even though it's not easy. What is easy is loving. Through my child, I have been able to experience the meaning of life: which to me is an opportunity to give, to support, and to believe in something outside of myself. It has offered challenge, laughter and love. We cannot grow as humans, as entities if we never seek to look outside of ourselves and step into the shoes (or hearts) of another. Each day provides me with a platform to work with, a template of time to play with. Every day, I do my best to use my time to be positive, productive and faithful. Faithful in the belief that all things happen for a reason, positive in the belief that I can (with the help of others) heal broken hearts and productive in my thoughts, words and actions.
I have also created a list of important life lessons that I keep posted near my workspace at home. These items have been so important to my own deep and personal fulfillment. 1. Have faith in yourself and others. 2. Ask for help when you need it, accept it when you think you don't. 3. Hug someone everyday 4. Learn to forgive yourself and others. 5. Accept the things you can control, and those you can't. 6. Take care of your body. 7. Share the things you have learned with others. 8. Be involved. 9. Do what you love! 10. Respect others & yourself. 11. Make time to relax. 12. Count your blessings. 13. Smile when you feel like frowning. 14. Laugh when you want to cry. 15. Use your imagination. 16. Do something creative every day. 17. Call a friend just to chat. 18. Do something charitable. 19. Take vacations. 20. Never give up.
I have changed as a person because of my educational experiences because I have been able to gain an increased awareness in reference to understanding that we all have differences, and that, as a practicing therapist, I need to try to understand those differences and learn what my personal biases may be. This revelation was extremely important to me because in a therapeutic setting I may find myself in a situation where I am working with someone from a different racial, ethnic, religious or sexual background. I feel strongly that I can approach someone form a different racial or ethnic background and not make attribution errors. I am now educated on how to be able to get to know people for who they are, rather than making false assumptions about who I perceive them to be at a glance. In addition, I am better prepared to challenge people on ethical and diversity issues as they come up in my life because I have been able to look at myself and see that I was myself, culturally incompetent at the start of this class. I am now able to see that every single person holds biases and prejudices, whether racial, sexual, numerical (age related), religious, or economical, to name a few. I feel confident that when confronted with racist or sexist situations I can stand up for the groups being discriminated against. It's important to me to be an ally and help people understand that differences are okay, in fact, they are part of what makes our world such a beautiful and diverse place.
In terms of gaps I have found in my reflection it is evident to me that while I have a good understanding of the subject material I have studied over the last 10 years, the ground I have covered is simply a beginning. I feel confident that the coursework I have taken has been instrumental to my path in life but there is still so much more to learn. In fact, as I have begun to explore graduate school I have learned that in order to pursue psychology as a career I am missing two core classes: Statistics and Research Methods. In an effort to gain acceptance into various programs, I have registered to take these two classes over the summer. In the meantime, I am working on my application materials for grad school. At this point I haven’t applied anywhere yet because I want to complete the two missing classes and continue to explore different schools and programs, which will allow me to apply in the fall. For the time being, I am looking for work and internship opportunities.
In terms of what I need and want to accomplish in the future it’s important for me to be ever-curious and pay close attention to what is going on in the world around me. I always want to look for and work towards objectives, whether educational or professional, that will improve not only my life, but the lives of those I interact with. I always want to listen to what my passions and intuitions tell me and never be afraid to pursue a lifetime helping, advocating for and inspiring others. Continuing my education can and will open doors to personal exploration, deeper learning and expertise in a field that I love because to me, every step taken to educating myself has been an incredibly fulfilling path. Becoming educated has allowed me to become a leader and with continuing education in life and academia, will set me up to be an expert in my field of study which will lead to greater opportunities, higher earning potential and lifelong satisfaction.
The criteria I have chosen to use in my reflection include how my learning experiences have allowed me to become a leader, writer, advocate and educated person of five of the six competence areas of First College. I have left out “the natural world and mathematics” only because I have spent considerably more time learning about the humanities and the psychology & sexuality of humans. I have also spent considerable time defining what it means to me to be an educated person and reflecting on the extent to which my education has or has not met those criteria. Following my reflection on my education and given the gaps that I found in that reflection, I have, to the best of my ability, addressed the issue of planning my future education. Finally, I have included a description of the goals I need & want to accomplish in the future. I begin my reflection discussing how I have accomplished five of the six competence areas of First College.
Communication: Having excellent communication skills have been instrumental in my education. It has helped me become an efficient problem solver and leader. By paying close attention to the world around me, I have learned the importance of keeping myself informed of global, local and entertainment events. I have spent considerable time learning about the various ways in which humans communicate with one another through coursework including writing 1 and 2, children’s literature, survey of mass media, theater of television, listening & literature of music, small group communications, visual communications, screenwriting, and voice (speaking from experience). In today’s world, it’s important to understand how prevalent visual & digital communication has become to us and learn how to participate maturely with these mediums.
In my personal and professional life, learning to communicate has benefited me in so many ways. For one, I have learned how to articulate my views and opinions in a mature manner. I am no longer intimidated to voice my thoughts and ideas whether spoken or written. I have come to understand that my voice is important and further, that I actually have something to say, particularly about how a persons’ psychology affects the way they see themselves as sexual, emotional, spiritual, physical and autonomous beings surviving in the world around them. I have also gained great insight into my own psychology and have learned to be able to communicate what I know about myself in an effort to engage and relate with others.
Community: I think, for me anyway, the biggest role I have as an educated person in terms of changing my community lies in my advocacy for and involvement with diversity and the humanities. Over the last several years I have become much more active supporting and advocating for LGBTQ persons, children with special needs and continuing education in the arts. There are so many things I do to give back to my community and frequently find myself involved in activities such as volunteering at my son’s school, donating food, toys or time to churches/charitable foundations such as VEAP (local food-shelf), National Marrow Donor Program, Camp Odayin (camp for kids with heart disease) and Rock The Cause.
I have learned to love working very hard at practicing random acts of kindness, and participating in political discussion through letter writing &/or protest. My expectations of my communities are for them enrich my life, to allow me to actively participate and to support me as a citizen. Communities exist because people cannot tackle all of life’s challenges or marvel at all of life’s wonders alone, we are communal beings and we should expect acceptance, tolerance, equality and respect from our communities. I am truly blessed to be a part of all my networks and communities.
Humanities: In terms of gaining greater cultural knowledge, I believe the humanities and psychology classes I have taken such as general psych, psych of women, psych of death/dying, abnormal psych, psych of adjustment, ethics, intro to diversity & ethics, intro to world religions, and women across cultures, have been critical in helping me understand ideas about ethical, religious and philosophical ideologies outside of my own sphere of knowledge. Humanities are extremely important to me because even though I live and interact within my own community, there is a whole global world out there that I need to be educated about so when I find myself in situations with people who have different ethical, religious & philosophical ideologies that don't match my own, I can move toward understanding and empathy from an educated standpoint, this also allows me to make informed decisions about my own actions and behaviors toward my fellow man. The humanities & psychology classes I have taken have helped me understand the deeper meaning of what it means to live & co-exist in a diverse and ever changing global world.
Vocation: I have created an individualized degree because I believe it’s critical to the success of my purpose in life, which is to help individuals overcome negative belief systems about themselves and the world around them. My studies have led me to work alongside diverse and often overlooked minority groups, particularly those previously mentioned. Creating an individual degree has further allowed me to learn and explore specific criteria I believe is necessary to my success. My academic areas of focus have relied heavily on gender studies: current and historical perspectives, writing, communication and psychology. By focusing on trends and perspectives within psychology, diversity and sexuality; I have set myself up to be able to work within these professions in an effort to help people claim their voices and autonomy.
Moving forward, I can visualize myself teaching, writing and practicing therapy. The experience of being a student has enabled me to have the writing, research and community action skills necessary to be successful in my field. It has been extraordinarily important for me to take psychology classes to understand how the psyche of humans works. It has also been important to take classes in culture and diversity, to help me see the world from a cultural perspective: how cultures relate to and shy away from each other. Gaining insight on World Religions is important as well because it has allowed me to understand what people of different faiths believe in.
It has also been critical for me to understand the differences of gender, and how being born one sex or the other can & does have an effect on how we all perceive the world around us. I have focused my studies primarily on the female aspect, simply because I myself am female, and because historically, females have been seen as “less-than” their male counterparts, despite recent advances in Women’s Liberation.
All of these classes have helped me as a writer and student better understand human emotion and faith, which are key aspects to character creation and authenticity as an autonomous person. Because writing is something that comes very natural to me, I have taken classes that foster the spirit of creatively “putting the pen to page.” In other words, I have focused my academic work on classes that rely on written work through research & my own voice as major components of understanding and passing a class.
Lifelong learning and avocation: My lifelong learning and avocation has afforded me inclusion within communities that encompass several different aspects of my life and are as diverse in nature as they are similar. I would define my community as a vast network of extended obligations and responsibilities to myself, my family and my friends. To me, these communities present opportunities for me to continue to learn and to practice activities/hobbies that make me happy and fulfilled as a person.
The first activity that I am involved in is that I am a parent involved in the scholastic community where my child attends fifth grade. I engage in that community by volunteering to help with class field trips, and being an active participant in fund raisers, food drives and after school activities. I participate within this community because I believe it helps foster good relations between me, my child and the school he attends.
The second community I am a member of is in the Minneapolis music scene as a member of a five-person band. As a group of five, we seek to bring music and entertainment to the intensely rich and diverse community of musicians and fans. It is our duty and obligation to ourselves that we strive for excellence, but remember to have fun with what we are doing. We engage with our extended Minneapolis community through gigs in local bars, venues and festivals, as well as collaboration with other musicians and close ties with members of community and college run radio stations. Music and singing is something I will continue to do throughout my lifetime, it is a passion I have had since I was a very young child. As my own child grows, I continue to encourage him to explore music as a means of creative expression as well. I think the arts are so valuable to all people and I will continue to do whatever I can to participate in and encourage others to participate in creative, artistic endeavors.
A third community I am a member of is among various Pagan and New Age spiritual groups I affiliate with. I believe it’s important to walk through life intentionally and spiritually and by having a support network of people, who share similar beliefs as me, is vastly important in my own spiritual development. In addition, I am able to give back to this particular community through writing, work-shopping and networking with other Pagans. In fact, I have decided to start a spiritual gathering once a month at my home. The idea is to get together with other like minded individuals to discuss spirituality and what it means for us. As I continue my education in the future, I am certain I will be afforded inclusion into professional organizations such as American Psychological Association as well.
An Educated Person
Criteria for being an educated person entail having an understanding of and compassion for the culturally rich and diverse world around us. It is being able to communicate your own personal thoughts and ideas to friends, peers, colleagues, instructors, bosses and any other person you come in contact with. Being educated is about putting to work the instruction received in college. An educated person has an attitude of anything is possible and understand that learning is a lengthy, tedious, but expansively necessary part of life. Educated people are problem solvers and good communicators, ever-curious about the world around them. They pay attention to what is going on in the world around them and look for ways to improve not only their own lives, but the communities in which they reside. They are proactive motivated individuals who thrive on learning. They are skilled in basic technological skills (using a computer, internet & common software products), are conscious consumers, and tote the pride of being educated: often stepping into roles as educators themselves.
Educated people understand the importance of sharing goals and dreams with other individuals who also want to learn, who have similar aspirations for themselves, they know that in order for the “program” to work on its deepest, most fulfilling level, there is a need and commitment to give back, to become a member, to tap into the creative forces of something outside of you, to take things one day at a time and above all, to trust the process. An educated person must have good communication skills, knowledge about the field they are studying, community interest & activity, and a curious mind: someone who never stops learning. They must be selective in the material they wish to learn about and take a critical eye to their own growth in the process. It’s important to follow your own interests because, in so doing, a student will be able to answer for themselves what their own individual purpose is, which will lead to greater success and satisfaction in life. An educated person will continue to be a life-long learner, ever curious about the world around them & always questioning their purpose within it.
My understanding of the varying criteria for judging how I have met the criteria in my education is strong. Over the last 10 years (off and on) in college, I have taken classes that have piqued my interest in the nature of humanity. In the process I have had to look at myself from a psychological standpoint in order to come to terms with my own history. This has been crucial to my ability to both separate and include myself in a classroom setting. By sharing some of my history, I have been able to support others who may have a similar past. It isn’t easy to share intimate and private information in front of a class full of people, but I believe my experiences are valuable in both teaching and supporting my fellow classmates. I think it takes a lot of effort to show and embrace vulnerability in a classroom setting because as people, we all have something to share and sometimes sharing the fearful or anxious or embarrassing moments in our lives, we are able to open dialogue that is full of substance and learning. As a student, I have also learned the importance of asking for help and questioning information or processes that didn’t make sense to me.
One way I have been able to retain the information I have learned in school has been my ability to begin conversations about the topics I have studied. I think being able to talk about what you’re learning with one or several other people including classmates, family and friends help solidify a person’s own thoughts about the subject material, which is crucial to being an educated person. Time management is also absolutely important when learning something. It is so valuable to understand how long something is going to take to learn about it and in fact, for me, has allowed me to set aside the time I need to learn which is why I continue to hold an excellent GPA. I’m not satisfied simply “getting by” academically. Cutting corners and failing to do the necessary work doesn’t afford anyone, including me, any kind of benefit; those behaviors in academia and in life are simply a matter of selling oneself short which is really unfortunate.
For me, the life experience which was the most transforming was giving birth to my son. Having a child with special needs forever changed the way I think about life, what to make of it and how to go about living it. Having a child period, does the same. Once parenthood entered my life, it completely changed the way I saw and related to the world. Being a mom has exponentially increased my appreciation for little things, as I have watched with trepidation and joy while Zane has grown. I have learned to set aside my own selfish ways to provide for him. In 11 years, Zane has succeeded in bringing out the best and sometimes the worst in me, and despite the bumps along the way have come to own my duty, my job, to teach and encourage him to learn as much as he can while still maintaining & supporting his childlike enthusiasm and wonder. Zane has been, and will continue to be, the motivating factor for educating myself and improving my life. The way I see it, having Zane was the best thing that ever happened to me and despite of, maybe even perhaps because of, his medical condition, I have truly stepped into the role of strong, capable, intelligent woman and mother.
The most important lesson I have received from life is learning how to recognize and balance my emotional reactions to things I either can or cannot control. As a parent of a child who lives every day with a life-threatening illness, I have had to reconcile my fears against my hopes. It is also within me to control how I feel about this, where I allow my emotions to go even though it's not easy. What is easy is loving. Through my child, I have been able to experience the meaning of life: which to me is an opportunity to give, to support, and to believe in something outside of myself. It has offered challenge, laughter and love. We cannot grow as humans, as entities if we never seek to look outside of ourselves and step into the shoes (or hearts) of another. Each day provides me with a platform to work with, a template of time to play with. Every day, I do my best to use my time to be positive, productive and faithful. Faithful in the belief that all things happen for a reason, positive in the belief that I can (with the help of others) heal broken hearts and productive in my thoughts, words and actions.
I have also created a list of important life lessons that I keep posted near my workspace at home. These items have been so important to my own deep and personal fulfillment. 1. Have faith in yourself and others. 2. Ask for help when you need it, accept it when you think you don't. 3. Hug someone everyday 4. Learn to forgive yourself and others. 5. Accept the things you can control, and those you can't. 6. Take care of your body. 7. Share the things you have learned with others. 8. Be involved. 9. Do what you love! 10. Respect others & yourself. 11. Make time to relax. 12. Count your blessings. 13. Smile when you feel like frowning. 14. Laugh when you want to cry. 15. Use your imagination. 16. Do something creative every day. 17. Call a friend just to chat. 18. Do something charitable. 19. Take vacations. 20. Never give up.
I have changed as a person because of my educational experiences because I have been able to gain an increased awareness in reference to understanding that we all have differences, and that, as a practicing therapist, I need to try to understand those differences and learn what my personal biases may be. This revelation was extremely important to me because in a therapeutic setting I may find myself in a situation where I am working with someone from a different racial, ethnic, religious or sexual background. I feel strongly that I can approach someone form a different racial or ethnic background and not make attribution errors. I am now educated on how to be able to get to know people for who they are, rather than making false assumptions about who I perceive them to be at a glance. In addition, I am better prepared to challenge people on ethical and diversity issues as they come up in my life because I have been able to look at myself and see that I was myself, culturally incompetent at the start of this class. I am now able to see that every single person holds biases and prejudices, whether racial, sexual, numerical (age related), religious, or economical, to name a few. I feel confident that when confronted with racist or sexist situations I can stand up for the groups being discriminated against. It's important to me to be an ally and help people understand that differences are okay, in fact, they are part of what makes our world such a beautiful and diverse place.
In terms of gaps I have found in my reflection it is evident to me that while I have a good understanding of the subject material I have studied over the last 10 years, the ground I have covered is simply a beginning. I feel confident that the coursework I have taken has been instrumental to my path in life but there is still so much more to learn. In fact, as I have begun to explore graduate school I have learned that in order to pursue psychology as a career I am missing two core classes: Statistics and Research Methods. In an effort to gain acceptance into various programs, I have registered to take these two classes over the summer. In the meantime, I am working on my application materials for grad school. At this point I haven’t applied anywhere yet because I want to complete the two missing classes and continue to explore different schools and programs, which will allow me to apply in the fall. For the time being, I am looking for work and internship opportunities.
In terms of what I need and want to accomplish in the future it’s important for me to be ever-curious and pay close attention to what is going on in the world around me. I always want to look for and work towards objectives, whether educational or professional, that will improve not only my life, but the lives of those I interact with. I always want to listen to what my passions and intuitions tell me and never be afraid to pursue a lifetime helping, advocating for and inspiring others. Continuing my education can and will open doors to personal exploration, deeper learning and expertise in a field that I love because to me, every step taken to educating myself has been an incredibly fulfilling path. Becoming educated has allowed me to become a leader and with continuing education in life and academia, will set me up to be an expert in my field of study which will lead to greater opportunities, higher earning potential and lifelong satisfaction.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)